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| Hello Hello. Today Wendy and I are going to the YMCA to have a basic orientation. Luckily, i found out that you can join with financial aid and be able to pay as lows as $10.50 a month for a membership. But the one thing that was awkward about my last visit to the YMCA with Wendy and her son Jack, is that when we were taking the tour, the lady was assuming that we were a family. examples - "Here's the family changing room", "We have great family plans".. yadda yadda yadda, you get the drift. For one, i have jet black hair, and her son has platinum blonde hair. Also, Wendy is dating Ryan, my roommate. So that was weird. My parents are coming up here for Thanksgiving, continuing a ritual we've had a few years ago. We used to come up every Thanksgiving to visit my aunt and uncle and have it here. Now I'm here, and my parents have more of a motivation to start coming back up again. Unfortunately, I won't be seeing my dear sister. But I still am dead excited to see my parents. I had the most heart-warming talk to my father last night, and I'm counting the days until i see him and my mother. I'm coming home for Christmas, just so the few of you that didn't know that, well, know that. I'll be home from December 21st to around the 28th I think. I'm dying to see everyone and anyone that's going to be in town. As for how it's going up here, well, it's touch and go really. I'm border-line lonely, just not willing to admit to it. I've been getting to hang out with my cousin pretty much every other weekend. He's going to school in Iowa City which is about forty five minutes away. I'd like to hang out with him more, but I should atleast be thankful that I've gotten to know him better these past few months. I've been going to church with my aunt and uncle on Sundays. It's been nice, unfortunately I do not care for there church, it's Lutheran. That may come off to be very derogatory, but i just don't get anything out of a Lutheran church. Nothing against it, if the people that go there do, then power to them, but personally, I don't. I found it to be utterly dreary and very depressing. But atlas, i get to spend time with my aunt and uncle, we go back to there house afterwards, eat lunch, watch football, and eat dinner. It's nice eating with them, since i'm new to vegetarianism, and they've been vegetarians for plenty of years. So they always fix amazing food, and i gladly eat it. But still, i feel as if there's a major void in my life. I know what i want to do, and that i need to go back to school. There's no problem with that. I just wish i knew some people here. It's strange. I'm used to knowing a lot of people. I'm not saying I was overly popular by any means, but in Abilene, I did know a good amount of people, alot of people i loved. And that comes with staying in Abilene for about 16 years. So i'm hoping the YMCA helps with meeting new people, and I'm putting faith in that school will too. That's really all i got to say. I'm pretty much writting this at work, so i really think i need to get back to work. Ok, bye bye. | | |
| Well, work is going well this week Going to Black Hawk Community College tonight to see about enrollment for next semester. Maybe going to Iowa City this weekend for a show I've been a vegetarian for about two months now, and it's going very well. And my lunch break is over and time to get back to work. Nothing entirely new. But no news is good news they say. My Songs of the fall so far: The Microphones - I Felt My Size
Sondre Lerche - You Know So Well
Songs: Ohia - Coxcomb Red
Midlake - Branches
Sufjan Stevens - Casimir Pulaski Day
Iron & Wine - Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car | | |
| Tuesday night seemed to drag on with no agenda. After getting some much needed groceries, i had no plans for the rest of the night. I ended up making some dinner and watching a movie. I was waiting untill midnight to pick up Ryan from work, and i was in a very strange mood. I felt somewhat deprived and depressed. I felt like i had no life. So, i decided the best thing for me to do that night was just to get out of the apartment, and just do something. I went for a drive. Given the fact that gas prices are terrible, this may not have proven to be the most economical idea. But what i realized on the road was well worth it. I was driving along, entertaining myself with good music and beautiful scenery. The drive to my aunt and uncle's house has been one of my favorite drives. It takes a good twenty to thirty minutes, but driving right next to the river and seeing some amazing things is a nice way to relax. All of a sudden, I had this weird feeling come over me. As i was listening to some beautiful music by Owen, i realized that I control my happiness. I had the feeling that this depressive mood i had, was like an outer skin that i could just shed off. It was the strangest feeling. From then on i decided that my life isn't that bad. I just got too used to being just good enough, mediocre. And from then on that this is it. This is my life. There's no way i can stay this way. I need to be the best me I can be. I can't make any more excuses. And that what i have isn't as bad as i make it out to be. It's a good place to move forward from. Yes, there's things that i wish were different, but i can't let that get me down. The only thing truely holding me back from any happiness is myself. There's no one else to blame. So, after I got out of town a good ways, I turned around, and headed back. Feeling a sense of accomplish over me. When i returned home, i got a blank canvas and some black ink. And in big letters i wrote : Be the best you, you can be! No Excuses! | | |
| One thing i notice about being from Texas and now living in the mid-west, the first question alot of people I have met was, "Are you ashamed of being from Texas because of George Bush?" So this weekend has been mediocre, at best. Friday night basically involved me cleaning the apartment for about 2 hours. Yes, i know you are all jealous of my riviting plans of a Friday night. Hey, atleast i went out, had a few drinks, followed by a been and cheese burrito from Taco Bell. Then we watched some Mr. Show which is actually very funny. David Cross is simply amazing. Saturday - sucked. Sunday - Football. So, saturday and sunday, not much to really tell, as you can see. I'm driving home for Christmas. All i asked from my parents for christmas was money to cover my trip home. I really don't need anything, and i'm pretty content with everything, so i really don't think theres anything i want. Well, nothing i really want materialisticaly. I'm going to break the trip home into two days, and stay with a wonderful friend i haven't seen since i left in Kansas. So i'm excited about that. It's strange to realize that the one thing i wanted so bad, leaving Texas, is one thing that I'm really questioning now. If that isn't irony, then i have no idea what is. And the answer to the previously asked question, No. There's morons in every state, just the one from Texas is more known then others. I'm from Texas, doesn't mean i talk with a southern draw and wear wranglers/cowboy hats. Texas's music scene rocks the shit out of the area i am in. This music scene is mostly Hardcore, and makes me want to gag. That is all. More insight on my life to come. Tune in. | | |
| Well, live is going fairly well. I have a new apartment that has an amazing look over downtown Moline. I live fairly close to work, work is actually going well and i actually enjoy some days. I love that i'm actually working with people. It's great. I can pay all my bills, I'm getting my own business card. It's like i'm actually a grown up, weird. But as good as all that is, i miss home. I miss my friends and family. I miss my ma and pa. I miss seeing my friends everyday. I miss working at Monk's and having people come visit me. I miss seeing all my beautiful friend's with there beautiful personalities. I miss all the fun activities we did, and the good times we had. I miss seeing good live concerts with him, long road trips, and just time spent talking. I miss Barbarian Quest and dance parties. Oh god, do i miss the dancing. I miss late night movies. I miss the parties we had. I miss everyone. I miss my mom and dad. I never thought i would miss them this much. I got used to seeing my dad everyday, specially with the fact i worked with him. he is alot smarter and wiser then i ever visioned. i miss my mother so much. just being around her made me happy and feel more secure then anything. And most importantly, i miss my sister. I miss my sister probabably more then i miss anyone in the world. I miss anytime that i'm upset or sad about anything, no matter how big or small, that i could crawl into her arms, and she would make any pain go away. I miss her beautiful and patient heart, even when i give her so much crap that she doesn't deserve. And when she gets angry at me, i know most of the time she's right. She's the absolute greatest person i know, and i don't deserve her as a sister. A true blessing in my life. Well, that being said, hopefully i can come back home around Christmas. I had left for numerous reasons, and yes things are going well, it's just the people back home will never compare to anyone i meet. I miss you all, love you all, and can't wait for the day i see you again. | | |
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